A Lesson in Leaving Prologue
by castlefan6
Summary: Gina Cowell Castle Cowell played a huge role in the lives of Caskett, but who is she, what do we know about her, was she really wicked, or just not on the same page with Rick for marriage? We'll add our take on a character that was central to our couple.
1. Chapter 1

**A Lesson in Leaving**

 **by Castlefan6**

Authors Note: Gina Cowell Castle Cowell played a huge role in the lives of Caskett, but who is she, what do we know about her, was she really wicked, or just not on the same page with Rick for marriage? We'll add our take on a character that was central to our couple. **TOTALLY AU**. _**NOTE: AU not canon**_ If you don't know the difference, then don't comment about what I left out of the story you saw on TV.

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **Chapter PROLOGUE**

 **I have often wondered about many characters that appeared on Castle with little if any back story. I think we could have appreciated some of them, Bracken, Gina, Paula, Meredith, and who better than Gina Cowell. I chose to do an AU story of what her life was before meeting Rick, becoming Mrs. Castle, then how she handled the split, what really happened in the marriage, how they could continue to work together? This is completely out of my wheel house and comfort zone, so I thought I would end the year on a challenge. If it Sucks, Blame Dreamwriter08, Cece, and Pen 2 Paper who suggested it last night and started me thinking, they were right. I hope some of you enjoy it, it will not be a normal writing genre for me.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A Lesson in Leaving**

 **by Castlefan6**

Authors Note: Gina Cowell Castle Cowell played a huge role in the lives of Caskett, but who is she, what do we know about her, was she really wicked, or just not on the same page with Rick for marriage? We'll add our take on a character that was central to our couple. **TOTALLY AU**. _**NOTE: AU not canon**_ If you don't know the difference, then don't comment about what I left out of the story you saw on TV.

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

A/N For the purpose of this story, Rick is 23, Gina 22, Beckett 22, Kyra 21 and dates are based on current year and date (present day December 2018), it's easier to keep straight. No Alexis, No Meredith. No Martha. Rick has just purchased the loft from the Royalties from A Rose Forever, and lives alone.

 **Chapter 1**

Gina Cowell Griffin was born into a family of prominent parents, aunts and uncles all involved with the publishing business in some manner, so it was only natural when she chose English and Journalism at Columbia University for her College degree. She had chosen the advanced program and graduated in 3 years with a double major and although not Suma Cum Laude, she had a very respectful GPA.

She took a summer off and toured Paris with her fiancé, to celebrate after putting their love life on hold for the sake of studies, well at least she had. It soon was revealed that the man she was engaged to had been a CAD, and seen all around town with multiple females, and caught in displays of very intense affection.

Heartbroken, she had been with Mike since Junior High School, there had been no one else, at least for her, she called off the engagement and sent him packing to wherever. Adding insult to injury, she even had to pay for his return flight to New York, it seemed he had been scammed by the latest flavor of the months he so readily enjoyed, and karma proved to be a bitch.

Humiliated, and heartbroken, she extended her stay in Paris for another two weeks, just to regain some stability so she could talk without crying. Her conversation with her parents went just about like she expected, her Father brushing it off as if it were a casual fling, and her Mother giving her the same speech she had heard since a little girl, "You can be a Stand By Your Man girl all you want, but if you do they're going to walk all over you. Be brave, be strong, don't let them see you cry no matter how bad it hurts", and the final line which always pissed her off more than anything, "take a good look at what you did to make him shop in another store, a woman who satisfies her man, keeps him."

It was during those additional two weeks, she met an interesting young lady in one of the coffee shops. She had been listening to music on her iPod and apparently humming and singing along to Sara Evans "A Little Bit Stronger" really getting into the lyrics, as she cried.

A Little Bit Stronger

Sara Evans

 _Woke up late today and I still feel the sting of the pain  
But I brushed my teeth anyway  
I got dressed through the mess and put a smile on my face  
I got a little bit stronger_

 _Riding in the car to work and I'm  
Trying to ignore the hurt so I  
Turned on the radio,  
Stupid song made me think of you  
I listened to it for minute  
But then I changed it  
I'm getting a little bit stronger,  
Just a little bit stronger_

 _And I'm done hoping  
That we could work it out  
I'm done with how it feels,  
Spinning my wheels  
Letting you drag my heart around  
And, oh, I'm done thinking  
You could ever change  
I know my heart will never be the same  
But I'm telling myself I'll be okay  
Even on my weakest days  
I get a little bit stronger_

 _It doesn't happen overnight but you  
Turn around and a month's gone by  
And you realize you haven't cried  
I'm not giving you a hour or a second or another minute longer  
I'm busy getting stronger_

 _And I'm done hoping  
That we can work it out  
I'm done with how it feels,  
Spinning my wheels  
Letting you drag my heart around  
And, oh, I'm done thinking,  
You could ever change  
I know my heart will never be the same  
But I'm telling myself I'll be okay  
Even on my weakest days,  
I get a little bit stronger  
I get a little bit stronger_

 _Getting along without you baby  
I'm better off without you baby  
How does it feel without me baby?  
I'm getting stronger without you baby_

 _And I'm done hoping we could work it out  
I'm done with how it feels,  
Spinning my wheels  
Letting you drag my heart around  
And, oh, I'm done thinking  
That you could ever change  
I know my heart will never be the same  
But I'm telling myself I'll be okay  
Even on my weakest days  
I get a little bit stronger  
I get a little bit stronger_

 _And just a little bit stronger  
A little bit,  
A little bit,  
A little bit stronger  
Get a little bit stronger_

 _Songwriters: Hillary Lindsey / Hillary Scott / Luke Laird_

She was approached by a young lady slightly younger than herself, inquiring,

"Excuse me, are you OK, I heard the song through your ear buds, and it's one of my favorite break up songs as well, Anything I can do?"

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't know it was that loud or I was making a fool of myself, I apologize."

"Oh No, it wasn't that loud, but I love that song, could be my theme song, you see I just left a 3 year relationship and walked away to come over here for a fantastic opportunity to work with the top designers,"

"You walked away? How could you just walk away from three years, I mean it's none of my business, but I had three years with my ex, then found he was cheating, so I sent him packing. It was the right thing to do, but still hurts like hell."

"I'm sorry, oh by the way I'm Kyra, Kyra Blane" as she stuck out her hand to shake hands.

"I'm Gina Cowell Gr, just Cowell now the hell with that I'm going to make a new start, it begins today, and he didn't deserve a true love when he was out galivanting. Was that why you broke up with your Boyfriend Kyra, was he running around?"

"Oh no, Rick was faithful as the day is long, he came from humble beginnings, and wanted to be a famous author, My Mom thought he was just out for financial backing from us, but honestly he didn't have a clue about our wealth."

"Then why did you dump a guy who was faithful for three years, even knowing that your Mom didn't like him? Seems to me he would be a keeper, I'm sorry that was rude you didn't ask nor need my opinion."

"No, No that's OK, you know I'm asking myself the same question, I know I hurt him badly, and I loved him, yet Mother held the power so if I didn't go, she would have cut me off, and I would be out on my own."

"So, you let your Mother stand in your way of your love for a man who had stayed faithful to you for three years, and was so ambitious worked all kinds of part time jobs and still completed a novel? Kyra, he wasn't looking for a handout, he was looking for support, and now, God I hope he keeps writing. It would be a shame to end a dream because of a broken heart."

"I know Gina, I feel terrible, but he changed his phone number, and won't answer my letters so I guess he is done with me, really I can't blame him. I think he was going to propose that night under the stars at the Clock at Times Square, so I had to rush the breakup on him, he looked so shattered, I'll never forget that look."

"God Kyra, he was about to propose, and you rushed the I can't see you anymore on him, no wonder he was crushed."

"Well I told him, I didn't believe in marriage, I mean look at my mother and father, their secretaries arrange meetings between the two of them, if that's marriage I don't want it."

"Well, I had my whole life mapped out, I was going to work for a few years, so Mike and I had our own nest egg, then buy a house, and settle down with kids and live the dream, well that dream turned into a nightmare when my fiancé proved to be nothing more than a horny bastard with no morals. I would have given anything if he were like your boyfriend, what's his name again?"

"It's Rick, and he's my ex now, I did a great job on destroying any chance to ever even being friends with him, and what's funny, he always knew what I needed before I did and took care of me, God I miss that."

"Well, sounds like we both need a lesson in leaving the past behind, not letting it consume us with the memories, good or bad and just move ahead with our lives the best we can."

"Good advice from the chic who's crying to Sara Evans A little Bit Stronger, but I agree, we both need to move on, I mean you got cheated on, and I let my mother influence me to leave the one man who has loved me for myself, not my parents social status, God Love Sucks."

Gina and Kyra both laughed and spent the remainder of their time seeing each other at least once a day, some days their sessions went all day, other days it was for a quick lunch, but a friendship had been borne out of common hurt, one self-inflicted, the other through no fault of her, just the horny bastard she had chosen.

The time flew bye, and Kyra actually saw Gina off as she departed to face the next chapter of her life in New York, as a senior editor at Black Pawn Publishing, no one needed to know her great uncle owned the company, and Kyra to work her role as an assistant to France's top fashion designer to the stars. As close as they had become, they would trade calls for a few months till the time slipped away and they drifted apart not to see each other again for several years in the future, BUT they would share one very important item,

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

**A Lesson in Leaving**

 **by Castlefan6**

Authors Note: Gina Cowell Castle Cowell played a huge role in the lives of Caskett, but who is she, what do we know about her, was she really wicked, or just not on the same page with Rick for marriage? We'll add our take on a character that was central to our couple. **TOTALLY AU**. _**NOTE: AU not canon**_ If you don't know the difference, then don't comment about what I left out of the story you saw on TV.

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **Chapter 2**

 **Previously**

" _Well, I had my whole life mapped out, I was going to work for a few years, so Mike and I had our own nest egg, then buy a house, and settle down with kids and live the dream, well that dream turned into a nightmare when my fiancé proved to be nothing more than a horny bastard with no morals. I would have given anything if he were like your boyfriend, what's his name again?"_

 **New York City**

 **Black Pawn Publishing**

 **5 Months from Returning from Paris**

Gina returned to New York with a new dedication to her job, who needed men anyway. They all seemed to be the same, lying cheating and looking for a way to get laid, whether they were married or not. One thing she would not condone was fraternizing with any of the authors, if you had any responsibility for their work, you were forbidden from anything more than a business lunch or launch dinner. This wasn't a popular decision but did prove productive as some of the lower performing Authors opted out of their contracts, and the appropriate staffing adjustments were made.

As all new editors, she didn't have her "Own" authors, those that she had cultivated, recruited, or convinced to change publishers so she had to choose her lineup from a list of authors submitted by the other two senior editors. She didn't hold high hopes for any of the Drafted authors if they were producing without issues why would an editor so readily offer them up for the taking.

She found her assumption to be correct when she met with her first "new" author, the meeting was for 9:30 AM, he showed up at 9:50 AM in a wrinkled suit, and had a strong odor of breath mints, but not strong enough to mask the whiskey smell. His last best seller had been over 5 years ago, and he was over 3 months late with the draft of his new work, which a small advance had been issued against. The one thing he did have going for him, he was one of her Uncle's, well in this situation, the owner of the firm's favorite authors.

Bill White who wrote under a pen name of Ben Waite, was apologetic as he approached Gina's assistant, and was a bit taken back when he was told, he was late for his appointment so sit and wait for the first opening, or reschedule for a time he would be there.

"Young lady do you have any idea who I am, I'll be dammed if I wait like a common rookie to see an editor, Hell we make the money for this firm, not them. Get Wallace on the phone, he'll straighten this mess out."

"Sir if you mean Mr. Wallace Mannite, he's already been called and his reply, was and I quote, "Tell that drunk Son of a Bitch to sit down, or we'll sue him for the last advance he owes us for"

White takes a seat, steam rolling off his brow, he began sobering up quick now that the anger had kicked in. It was apparent that Gina was on a conference call and wasn't going to make it easy on him, or anyone that didn't meet her rigid set of rules, the first and most important, NEVER be late, with a manuscript, a meeting, or a public appearance. This became know as Gina's Firing clause, she had let more than one slow performer go for lack of punctuality.

She had also been successful in bringing new talent to the company, her beauty and knowledge of how to show off God given assets went a long way with the men, especially the young up and coming ones. One such author was Richard Rogers, writing now as Rick Castle, he had one book published, A Rose Forever After, that Gina hadn't read yet, her assistant gushed over it, so she skimmed the highlighted parts enough to know this was a talent she would like to bring on.

Rick showed up for his 10:15 AM appointment 5 minutes early, earning him instant favor from Gina and Sandy her assistant, and the hatred of one Bill White still cooling his heals like a rookie pitching his first work. If looks could kill White would have shot Rick, Sandy and Gina with the same bullet, he was angry and getting angrier.

"Hi Mr. Castle, I'm Sandy, Gian Cowell's assistant and I will be your first contact should you have any issues at all with Black Pawn, of course Paula Haas can also contact me directly should you wish."

"Good Morning and Thank You Sandy, very kind of you indeed," as he accepted her business card, "I'll be sure that Paula gets the updated contact information and the order in which she is to reach out to you at Black Pawn."

"Thank You Mr. Castle,"

"Please just call me Rick, Mr. makes me feel so much older than I am already feeling" and there is a flash of a smile.

Truth be told Sandy would drop all of her plans in a heartbeat to spend some time with this new Author, God he was HOT, too bad Gina was so adamant about the fraternizing clause. From the looks of this one, Gina's going to have to face a stiff test herself, well at least she could look from the distance.

"Gina's ready for you Rick, right this way. Gina, this is Rick Castle, Rick, this is Gina Cowell who will now be your editor for any work created under contract for Black Pawn."

"Pleased to meet you Rick, may I call you that, I like to have a close relationship with all the authors I work with," she smiles and flashes a sight of a very lovely pair of legs.

"Hi Gina, yes Rick is fine, and I agree we are going to be working together so we might as well be on first name basis."

"Just to review there has been some changes I have implemented since taking this role, first if a person works on your material, in any capacity, then you cannot see them socially, no ifs, ands or butts, it's nonnegotiable"

"No Problem there, I'm not seeing anyone for a while anyway, Thanks Gina."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I don't see a wedding band or proof that there is or has been one that so many men try to disguise so why not dating if I may ask Rick? The reason, we will have promotional tours and if we get one of your works on the hot list, then we would expect you to be at social events, with a date to promote, it's in your contract."

"Yeah, I read that, and I 've discussed it with Paula Haas, my agent, who has plenty of friends that would fit the bill, well at least for one night in the public anyway."

"No Plans to go back on the market Rick, she must have really done a number on you like my ex did to me, it still hurts but hey, life goes on for us both."

"I'm sorry to hear Gina, bad breakup? I'm sorry that's personal and really none of my business, forget I asked"

"No, No I asked you the questions you have the right to ask me the same, so hang on here goes,

Age 22, Height 5'6", Weight, 5 lbs. more than I want it to be Bust Size 34B, Single, STRAIGHT, just ended a three year relationship and engagement when I caught him cheating, not in a hurry to get back out there, and yes I'm a natural blond, the drapes match the carpet", as she winks at a blushing Rick.

They both break out in genuine smiles, and the tension is gone, it's almost like she's know this man for more than the twenty minutes he's been in her office.

"OK well here's mine,

Height 6'4", Weight 210 lbs., Never measured my bust but I wear a 44 Long Sport Coat, Single, STRAIGHT, just got dumped after waiting three years for her to get out from under her Mother's iron fist"

Gina smiles, especially when he mentions the bust comment, but the last comment has her worried,

"Well we'll make a great team Rick, I see your manuscript for the entire first book has been checked in for Derrick Storm, I will get back to you soon with any edits and we can discuss where we go from here,"

Rick doesn't miss the cleavage she shows, or the beautiful thigh as the slit in the skirt strategically moves up to give him a better view,

"Sounds good Gina, I'll update Paula, she is a bit headstrong so if she gets out of line, please just call me or have Sandy contact me and I'll reel her back in, she's got a heart of gold, but no filter at all. She says exactly what she thinks which is good, most times, but also embarrassing at other times."

Gina stood to walk him out of her office when they were greeted by a drunk and disorderly Bill White, AKA Ben Waite, who rushed into her office and grabbed her arm, shouting "you are going to see me now you bitch, I'm tired of waiting,"

Rick had him on the floor hands behind his back, his knee on his neck as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his handkerchief and stuffed it in his screaming mouth, ending the stream of vulgar words aimed at Gina, reaching around to his other pocket, he secured a zip tie and completed binding the drunks hands.

Gina was visibly shaken, Sandy has already called security and Wallace who came down and instructed the patrol officers they would press charges, and off went Bill.

"Gina, are you OK, I mean he didn't hurt you, did he?" Rick asked so sweetly, almost like he was shy.

"No Rick, thanks to you I am fine, a bit shaken up that someone would become that violent, so quickly, where the hell did you get the zip ties from?"

"Research for the next novel, I always try to simulate the scenes so they are true to life when I write them. "

"Well this one certainly was, thank you again, I don't know what came over him,"

"It's the booze, that's what makes them brave, without it he probably couldn't get out of bed in the mornings, it's not an excuse for him, I mean the guys a jerk, but some people deal with hurt the wrong way."

"How are you dealing with it Rick? I mean you sound so cool and collected but I see something in your eyes, and that smile, it's fake, it's a good fake and will fool your readers, but not me"

"Somedays are better than others, I stay away from the places that were ours, and I definitely stay away from Times Square, but mostly I just try to remember that we all have stuff to get through in life, no one gets to heaven in the same way you came into this world."

"How about you Gina, how are you handling it, or have you written my whole gender off as egotistical pigs who are out for one thing?" and then she sees the genuine smile God those eyes, stop it, you know the rules she chastises herself.

"Well like you I stay away from the Our places, although there weren't that many and I try to make new friends just to go out and have a drink or quick bite, some place very public so no one thinks I have double standards."

"That sounds like a good plan, hope it works out for you, I'll be talking to you soon about those edits, Thanks for the meeting and open conversation,"

As he reaches for her hand to shake it, she feels the jolt that has been missing since the early days, very early days of her and Mike's relationship.

"Eh Rick, would you like to grab dinner tonight, nothing fancy just burgers at a great place called Remy's. No obligation, I mean you probably have plans,*"

"How does Seven sound Gina, and I'd love to, See you then" as he winks and walks out the door,

"Sandy, Can you do me a favor please?"

"Sure Gina, what can I do for you?"

"Do you have Rick's novel that was published handy or if not do we have it on microfilm."

"Watch yourself Boss, those eyes will have you in bed in 10 minutes tops if you're not careful" she smiles as she hands Gina the hard copy, and there it was the dedication page, discretely folded down for her by Sandy.

She needed to be honest with him, before he found out and lost all faith in her, he needed a friend more than an editor now, and she wanted to be both,

TBC


	4. Chapter 3A

**A/N I truly thought I had posted this story as complete, when I found the remaining chapters on an old laptop, here is the conclusion to an early story I created, I apologize for the huge delays**

 **A Lesson in Leaving**

 **by Castlefan6**

Authors Note: Gina Cowell Castle Cowell played a huge role in the lives of Caskett, but who is she, what do we know about her, was she really wicked, or just not on the same page with Rick for marriage? We'll add our take on a character that was central to our couple. **TOTALLY AU**. _**NOTE: AU not canon**_ If you don't know the difference, then don't comment about what I left out of the story you saw on TV.

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **Chapter 3**

 **Previously**

" _Do you have Rick's novel that was published handy or if not do we have it on microfilm."_

" _Watch yourself, Boss, those eyes will have you in bed in 10 minutes tops if you're not careful" she smiles as she hands Gina the hard copy, and there it was the dedication page, discretely folded down for her by Sandy._

 **Remy's Shake Shop**

 **7:00 PM Same Day**

Rick had changed from his business suit to a more casual pair of dress pants, and a light-yellow pullover sweater that complimented his hours spent in his building's gym each day. He had mixed signals leaving the meeting with his new author, she was certainly attractive enough, but the hurt was still very evident in her voice. He was a pretty good judge in character, and he knew there was more in Gina's story than just a two-timing fiancé.

He arrived at Remy's 10 minutes early to secure a table, only to see a beautiful blond lady wave to him from a booth in the back. As he approached, he noticed she too had changed into less business-like clothes, God was she hot in that blouse that was cut a bit too low for a work environment. She had been honest when giving her stats as a 34B but failed to tell him her nipples would give Rachel Greene a run for their money and it wasn't even cold in the restaurant. He would have to concentrate to keep his eyes North of those for sure.

She stood, and to his surprise, kissed him gently and quickly on the cheek, since he was holding her hand preparing for a handshake, he quickly converted it into a kiss on her forehand. They both blushed a bit before Rick assisted her back into the booth and blocked the view of a dirty old man trying to get a free show.

"Sir, you're much too old for her, and you really disrespect the lady you are with when you leer at lovely young ladies, I think you owe both ladies and apology"

The older man tries to play innocent, until his wife just turned and clocked him with a slap, "40 years and you still can't keep it in your pants, Howard, you're going to get hit a lot harder than I do if you don't learn some manners"

Gina is impressed, Rick was not only timely but a true gentleman in the rarest form found in the male generation today. As the older couple start out the door the older man says quietly to Rick, "you must be gay as a two-dollar bill not to be hitting that, and as old as I am I could still show her a good time if you're not up to it"

This time it was Gina who stood and smacked the dirty old man, with his wife beating on him on the way out the door, comical if it had not been such a violation of personal space.

"I'm very sorry for that Gina, I know it didn't do much to restore your faith in my gender but trust me there are still a few gentlemen out there, don't write us all off just yet."

"Thank You Rick, you just proved to me that Gentlemen still exist, thank you for defending my honor, and I thought it was very sweet for you to call me a lovely young lady, in my job I'm called a lot of things but that's not one of them" she smiles her beautiful big smile. Rick was making a conscious effort not to look south of her neck, knowing what would happen if he did, so he stared into her eyes, and she didn't look away.

The sound of the waitress approaching for their order broke the trance between the two having eye sex, God she had beautiful eyes. Some men may not think she was hot, but she was just what Rick Loved, soft features with a beautiful smile to go along with her bedroom eyes. A look of innocence that would probably kill you in the bedroom, **STOP** , this is your editor you fool, listen he chides himself.

Apparently, Gina was having some of the same difficulties concentrating as Rick was because she asked,

"Did you say something Rick, I sorta zoned out there for a while"

"No, I had the same problem, you look lovely tonight and I had to be careful what I said, (he's thinking or where I look ) or I'll be in trouble with the fraternization clause on my first day."

"Well, I got a memo from HR, they suspended that rule pending a lawsuit, since Black Pawn really can't control our resources for the time we don't pay them for, so the CEO came to my office personally this evening before I left. There's a company memo going out, but most don't check their emails regularly, so I'm sure the informal communication chain will work faster" as she laughs.

"So with the new rules in place, we can do what we like, that is if you want to make an evening out of this, it's presumptuous on my part that you don't have plans, I'm sorry"

Rick is flashing her that genuine smile, the one she hadn't seen earlier, "Gina, it's not presumptuous, and no I don't have plans and yes I would like to keep this evening going, I want to get to know you better. PLEASE don't take this the wrong way, any guy would die to jump into bed with you, my God you are sexy as hell, but to me, I need to know a person before the deed, it makes it so much more special."

Gina flashes him a smile, "You know you really are rare like you said, guys would already be timing it down to how many more jokes, drinks or events till I can get her to my place to bag her. I wonder if she's terrible in bed because something has to be wrong, she's single and no boyfriend, would be his next thought, and then well they would push the agenda."

"Well, you know my backstory, I know yours, and the last thing we need as work partners is to fall into bed for one meaningless night of sex, not that it wouldn't be great, cause I know with you it'd have to be, but then that would be all we knew of each other, and it would be doomed."

"You're right Rick, I know the sex would be great but I'm getting something I rarely get on a date or lunch or whatever the hell we want to call this, respect and conversation as an equal, Thank You, it means far more than you know."

"Well I know you are hurt, still hurting and many guys know how to come along and tell you what you want to hear just to get you to bed, then they're gone. Then you deal with even more hurt and guilt, not that you have anything to be guilty of, but you still feel like you cheated. Those feelings don't turn on and off like a light switch."

Gina reaches over and kisses him, sweetly, tenderly on the lips, no tongue, just a sample of things to come. "Would you like to come back to my place for coffee or a drink? I think there are things we do need to talk about, just so everyone is clear, open and honest as we begin our friendship."

"I'd like that very much, no promises just talk and let things go slowly and, naturally. The last thing I want to be is a substitute in bed for the one you still love. I'd always wonder who are you picturing when you close your eyes, him or me. That may sound corny or like a line out of a Country Western song, but it's true.

"No, I understand Rick and I agree, I wouldn't want to be the one that loved and waited for, in your mind as you made love to me either, so let's get to know each other, starting now."

She asked for the check, only to find another surprise, Rick would never let a woman pay for a date, regardless, business or not and he had already taken care of it.

"You know you should let me pay, this is a business dinner, Rick"

He shuts the discussion down permanently with just two words, "Was It?"

"No, no I guess it wasn't but you had to know I thought you were attractive when you came into my office, I mean I don't show that much flesh to all new authors" she smiles and blushes.

"I've made some assumptions before that proved to make an Ass out of me, so I was hoping, but not counting on anything Gina, then when we talked I knew we both had to take it slow and some women are not into that."

"Well Rick, Let's get out of here, there are some things I want to be sure you know before this goes anywhere past this night, OK?"

"Sure, Should I be worried, I mean I haven't lived the cleanest of lives but nothing I am ashamed of, somethings I'd do over sure, but nothing that would damn me."

"Rick, not you, let's go to my place, please? I'll tell you what's on my mind, and then answer any questions you might have, one thing I have always held on to, in business, in school, and especially in friendships, is complete and total honesty."

 **Gina Cowell's Penthouse**

 **Later Same Evening**

"Here it is Rick", as Gina fumbles with her key fob, and then the door opens to an exquisite townhouse, with both up and downstairs. Beautifully decorated, Rick knew that this was even above her status at Black Pawn.

"Wow Gina this is beautiful, and either you come from money, or I'm in the wrong side of the table in this publishing game,"

"Would that make a difference Rick, I mean just say I came from money, would it change how you thought about me? I seldom bring any dates here, well the few I go on because of exactly what you said, but I have a comfortable feeling that you're not into the dollar sign, you wouldn't have chased your dream if it was only for the money."

"How did you know that about me? I mean it's true, I just bought my loft last year, along with an apartment for my Mother close but not too close to my place, but other than that, I bought a beach house in the Hamptons, bayside mostly to help out a friend who was about to go under and needed the cash."

"Rick, we do a lot of research on writers we sign, not only for their potential for sales but also their humanity, yours always came back the same. A man who started from humble beginnings, worked three jobs while in college, and completed his first novel, well the one that was published, all before you graduated."

"Wow, I never thought you or Black Pawn went to that level, I mean it's all true, and I'm proud of where I came from, even if it did cost me what I thought was the love of my life."

"About that Rick, why don't you come sit down and I'll get your three fingers of Single Malt, neat, just the way you like it." Rick looks shocked but joined Gina on the couch once she returned and handed him his drink.

"I want you to know what happened isn't typical of the research we do on new authors, and when I saw you in person I almost died. I didn't know what to do, but I knew I owed you the truth after I confirmed it with Sandy, Kyra Blane was the topic of your first novel"

Rick blushes with the mention of Kyra's name, both first and last, but listened as Gina continued to explain how after graduation she had found out about Mike, extending her trip, meeting Kyra, including the embarrassing situation of Sarah Evans song, and the conversations they had.

"Rick, I'm being honest with you, Kyra loved you, she told me so, yet she let her mother control the destination of her career and send her as far away from you as possible. We talked every day for the last weeks I was in Paris, and then once I returned, we started out talking but as most long-distance friendships, it fizzled out, I haven't heard from her in almost three months.

I never dreamed that I would be your editor one day, and when you walked into the office this morning, I thought of all the good things that were said about you, you were every bit and more how she described you. I **NEVER** would hold any information like this from you, and I expect now that you'll want to go back to the professional writer/editor*"

She's interrupted with a sweet soft kiss on the lips from Rick, who holds his finger up against her lips, "Shhh, no more memories, and you're wrong, I want what you want."

"Are you sure, Rick? Please don't close your eyes, I can't take being a fill-in for Kyra, and God oh yes*

A few hours later, Gina lay in Rick's arms totally satisfied, and for the first time since early, very early in her previous relationship, she felt like she was wanted, and adored. He was gentle but aggressive, and even in bed, he had made sure she reached heaven before even began to think about himself, what man does that.

"Rick, are you awake," she asked quietly,

"Right here Sweetie, are you OK? Ready for another round?"

"God, where do you get the energy from, can we wait for a few for the next round, are you OK, I mean I dumped a lot on you in a short time before, well before you sent me to heaven three times"

"About Kyra? Gina like your Mike, She's just someone I used to love. Love is a double edge sword, as deeply as you love, you can also hurt and hate, and I think both of us are on the wrong edge of the blade now"

"You have a way with words for sure but you're right, every time I think of him, it's not the good times that come flooding back, it's the hurt I just can't forgive. Why did he do it, Rick, I mean am I lousy in bed, is that it, is it my fault I couldn't satisfy him he strayed?" as tears filled her eyes,

"Hey, Hey, First place, you are FAR from lousy in bed, you are so sensuous, do you think I or any man could rise to the occasion as many times as I did if you were bad, secondly he did it because he is what men call other men who do that"

"What do you call him?"

"The same you do, PIG, or Horny Bastard with no morals, if he loved you, Truly loved you, your happiness would be the first priority for him. He could never have loved you as you loved him, or he couldn't do what he did."

"This is none of my business, so don't answer it if*"

"No Gina, I never cheated on Kyra, she came close to cheating on me, thanks to her mother, but no, I am a one-woman man,"

"She'll never know what she allowed her mother to destroy Rick, I'm sorry for you, but if this means I get to see you, then I'm happy for me."

"You're the first you know"

"I'm sorry Rick, first for what?"

"Since Kyra, there haven't been any others," Gina breaks down in tears as Rick holds her gently,

Through her tears, "Same here, I've had three dates, all lunches that I cut short, till you, do you want to see anyone else, Rick?"

"No, how about you, I know sex is only part of a relationship, but I like you, and I would have asked you out had I not known about the policy that is now suspended about dating co-workers, You're the first woman in, well you know how long that I have gotten past I'll call you routine."

"Well, will you? (long pause) Because if you don't I'll call you, as she turns his head to start to collect the next round, it didn't take more than a moment for Rick to convince Gina she was great in bed, again.


	5. Chapter 4

**A Lesson in Leaving**

 **by Castlefan6**

Authors Note: Gina Cowell Castle Cowell played a huge role in the lives of Caskett, but who is she, what do we know about her, was she really wicked, or just not on the same page with Rick for marriage? We'll add our take on a character that was central to our couple. **TOTALLY AU**. _**NOTE: AU not canon**_ If you don't know the difference, then don't comment about what I left out of the story you saw on TV.

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **Chapter 4**

 **Previously**

"Rick, I'm being honest with you, Kyra loved you, she told me so, yet she let her mother control the destination of her career and send her as far away from you as possible. We talked every day for the last weeks I was in Paris, and then once I returned, we started out talking but as most long-distance friendships, it fizzled out, I haven't heard from her in almost three months.

I never dreamed that I would be your editor one day, and when you walked into the office this morning, I thought of all the good things that were said about you, you were every bit and more how she described you. I **NEVER** would hold any information like this from you, and I expect now that you'll want to go back to the professional writer/editor*"

************************************************************************************/

 **Castle's Loft**

 **5 Months Later**

Gina and Rick fell into a comfortable relationship when he visited the offices, but it was sheer HEAT when they were home, one or the other would start innocently, and before they knew it, it was on, full mind-blowing sex for hours at a time. It was after one of these sessions Rick asked a question that seemed a bit strange to Gina, off the wall totally out of the blue but she answered him truthfully, perhaps too much truth.

"Gina, have you ever thought about kids, I mean having children, I know you have a huge career, but has the thought ever crossed your mind?"

"Only in nightmares, we have everything going for us right now, why would I want kids, I mean we are together, but we aren't married, I mean I care about you a lot, hell I think I love you but this is a topic we haven't discussed before, any reason to bring it up now Sweetie?"

"Well, I was just thinking, I mean I would love to leave part of me behind once I'm gone, something other than Derrick and his buddies, you know? I know we fit together well, and God the sex, I have never had it better, so I guess I'm just thinking out loud, never mind me"

"No Rick, please don't withdraw, it had to be important to you, or you wouldn't have brought it up. Are you ready for kids, for marriage, the whole nine yards?"

"Truthfully? I've been ready, I know it sounds stupid, but I've been investing to a point where I really won't have to worry now, we have the three best sellers and a few more in the series still planned, so when if not now, I mean what's holding us back? I love you, and I know you love me, and I know you'd be a great Mom."

Gina slides over to face him taking both his hands in hers, "this is a huge step Rick, it's broke a lot of couples, are you sure we are strong enough as a couple to face this, good or bad? What if it drives us further apart, rather than pulling us closer, I don't know how I could get by losing you and perhaps a child if this doesn't work, it's a big gamble with our lives"

"Do you really think it could break us, Gina, I mean it's a baby all that's right with this world, I mean I understand if you don't wan*"

"Rick, it's not that I don't want, it's I can't carry them full term, Mike and I got pregnant while I was in college, and we lost it. The specialists told me I would never be able to carry children to birth, so I had surgery to prevent it, I'm sorry Rick I never told you," as she burst into tears.

Rick slid her into his lap and just held her, kissing her gently on her forehead, "I'm sorry, I'm such an Ass, I should never have brought this up, I've hurt you, the last thing I wanted to do."

"Rick, there was no way you would know, if you want to try, so do I, BUT I want to be married before the baby is born, that is a big thing for me, OK?"

"Marriage, hell I would marry you in a parking lot, the sooner the better, but how are we going to try for kids when you had surgery?"

"The Mayo Clinic has had great success in reversing the procedure I had, and also monitoring difficult pregnancies, so it would mean surgery, soon, then marriage, then the part that you will find the hardest,"

Rick has a look on his face like What the Hell?

"What part will I not like Gina, I mean I don't like you having surgery, but what could be worse?"

"Well once I am healed about 3 weeks, you will have to be willing to" then she pauses

"Willing to do what Gina, you're killing me"

"Become my sex slave and service me multiple times a day especially when my temperature spikes and the eggs are dropping, I know it's tough Rick, but that's the deal"

His face is empty as he takes this all in, then he grabs her as she giggles, and they get a dress rehearsal for things to come in making an heir.

 **Castle's Loft**

 **Two Weeks Later**

Rick had a surprise for Gina when she came home from Black Pawn, the loft was dark, except for a candle, a single rose, and a note, asking her to come to the roof. He had dinner catered from LeCerc Restaurant, and upon its completion, he dropped to one knee and proposed to Gina, who tearfully accepted.

They decided to make it official in a civil ceremony that week and begin preparation for Gina to have the required medical procedures coming up the following week at the Mayo Clinic. That didn't stop Gina from shopping for a beautiful wedding dress, actually, two, one very simple for the civil procedure, and a fancy one for the wedding they had just begun to plan.

 **Mayo Clinic**

 **New York, One Week Later,**

Gina is laying in a hospital bed calm and collected, Rick is going crazy pacing around the room, Martha is trying to calm her son down, as well as Gina's sister Patti, but nothing was working.

"Let me have a few minutes with him alone please," Gina asked.

"Rick, I'm going to be fine, if all goes well, I'll be discharged tonight or tomorrow and be home before you know it, honestly I'll be fine" as she draws him in for a reassuring kiss.

"Yes, and you're doing this to make me happy, I should have just kept my mouth shut, I will never forgive myself if something happens to you, you know I love you don't you?"

"Sweetie, I love you too, everything is going to be fine, by the time our formal wedding is over, I'll be through with all the treatments, then you'll be my sex slave, what a tough job" she giggles, if she was nervous she wasn't letting her new husband know.

 **Castle's Loft**

 **2 weeks Later**

Gina had been right, the surgery went almost as expected, although the doctors did detect some scarring in one of the fallopian tubes, which they corrected as much as possible, the worst impact, it would reduce the number of eggs available to be fertilized each month.

She loved the fact that Rick never left her side, had hired not one but three private nurses to be with her around the clock, and a housekeeper to do all the housework chores. He was a fantastic cook and had made meals ahead of time all she needed to do was select what she wanted, and microwave for 1-2 minutes, on the days he would even let her do that. She never knew just how sweet a man he was till this, and she fell deeper in love with him each day. He was the model husband that all other husbands should be held to his standard.

The wedding planning took up most of her day, and it became bigger than either wanted originally, but what the heck, they were already married, secretly, so treat it like a big party. Exactly three weeks later Rick and Gina exchanged vows, again, to the delight of their friends, and the dismay of all the single women on New York's Most Eligible Bachelorettes. A jet-set honeymoon followed and then they were home two weeks later.

 **Castle's Loft**

 **6 months Later**

Gina had taken the pregnancy test three times to be sure, she couldn't wait to tell Rick, this would be the happiest day of his life, then she felt cramping, and went screaming into the bathroom, Rick knelt and held her hand as they called the doctor and described what had occurred, their worst fears confirmed, she had miscarried.

The next day she went by private ambulance to have an outpatient DNC ( Dialation and Curattage. ) at the Mayo Clinic. Sadly, this was repeated 4 times over the next two years until the specialist scheduled an appointment for Rick and Gina together.

 **Mayo Clinic**

 **7 Months Later**

Rick and Gina were meeting with the last specialist, God how many had there been already, far too many. Their lovemaking had gone from passion unleashed to that of punching a timeclock and doing a job, no emotions, just get it done. This had impacted the marriage far more than either knew, the working arrangement was fine, but once they were home there was nothing left.

A knock on the door and a middle-aged man with a short beard and medium long hair hold off from the hippie stage, entered.

"Gina, Rick, I'm Doctor Jon Dunne, and I'm here to talk to you about our next steps." Gina had been drug through the mill, and her nerves and run-down condition of her physical body was weighing heavily on both Rick and she as they looked at each other.

"Doctor, enough, there are no next steps, my wife has been through hell and back 5 times hoping and praying, but it looks like the first doctor was right, we aren't meant to have children. I can't put her through this anymore, as he caressed her head, and she held his other free hand.

"Mrs. Castle, is this how you feel?" Dr. Dunne asked,

"Doctor you have no idea of the stress this has put on our relationship, our physical intimacy, and our love for each other, so yes I agree, enough, I failed Rick, and we'll deal with that in the privacy of our home. No More treatments, in fact, reverse the tubal litigation as soon as possible, I can't put Rick through, or survive another miscarriage,

 **Mayo Clinic**

 **2 Days Later,**

Rick is with Gina again, except this time, it's not to bring hope, it's the closure of a very tough chapter for them both, the last 2 ½ years had tested patience, love, and determination of them both, but by now they were both ready for it to be over.

Gina went through the surgery fine, insuring no future pregnancies could occur, it seemed like almost a death had occurred as they were transported home, once again Rick going overboard with her care.

"Rick, I have to get back to my normal life, and Sweetie as much as I appreciate all the help, let's start phasing them out as I regain my strength, OK?"

"I know Gina, I just want you back to your full strength, this is all my fault," as a tear comes to his eye, "You warned me how tough this could be, but did I listen, No, that would never happen to us, but I know the last 30 months have not been the type of marriage you wanted, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," as he lays his head in her lap and weeps.

"Rick, you had no way of knowing, hey, we can say we tried, right, I mean we both tried, and we're still together right, I still love you no matter what"

"I love you too, but I know our marriage took some hits, and that's on me, I'll fix this Sweetie, I promise I will. I will make you happy again."

Rick, I am happy, I'm just exhausted, disappointed, and so hurt I can't give you what you want, that probably hurts more than any physical pain I've gone through, let's just take it slow again for a while," as tears pour out of her eyes, no matter what Rick did, this was a cleansing cry needed to allow Gina to grieve for those little souls that never had a chance, and maybe just a little for her and Rick.

TBC


	6. Chapter 5

**A Lesson in Leaving**

 **by Castlefan6**

Authors Note: Gina Cowell Castle Cowell played a huge role in the lives of Caskett, but who is she, what do we know about her, was she really wicked, or just not on the same page with Rick for marriage? We'll add our take on a character that was central to our couple. **TOTALLY AU**. _**NOTE: AU not canon**_ If you don't know the difference, then don't comment about what I left out of the story you saw on TV.

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **Chapter 5**

 **Previously**

"Rick, I have to get back to my normal life, and Sweetie as much as I appreciate all the help, let's start phasing them out as I regain my strength, OK?"

"I know Gina, I just want you back to your full strength, this is all my fault," as a tear comes to his eye, "You warned me how tough this could be, but did I listen, No, that would never happen to us, but I know the last 30 months have not been the type of marriage you wanted, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," as he lays his head in her lap and weeps.

"Rick, you had no way of knowing, hey, we can say we tried, right, I mean we both tried, and we're still together right, I still love you no matter what"

**************************************************************************************/

 **Castle's Loft**

 **One Month Later**

Gina finally was allowed to resume her full schedule and spent almost the entire days at Black Pawn getting caught up with work that had been diverted to the other two editors. She was anxious to see what if anything new some of her recruits had brought to the table, although she had been connected, the past 30 months work had been a secondary priority to being a mother, well trying to be a mother and a wife to Rick.

She had discovered that Rick was so sweet, that he would do just about anything to make her happy, no matter the cost. Since the last stay in the hospital, flowers showed up for no reason, or for made-up National Something Days, that would give him the right to baby her. She loved it, but she also hated it at the same time since each incident reminded her that she had failed to give Rick the one thing he had always wanted, a child. The more attention she received, the deeper the hurt, till one day she cracked.

"God Damn it Rick, stop acting like everything is OK between us, we both know I failed you, do you see a child, do you? Well, I sure as hell don't which means I failed to give you the one thing you wanted in life."

"Gina, Baby, calm down. I only want to show you how much I love you, and that it's OK, there are other ways to have kids, we can adopt. In fact, I started the paperwork for a private adoption from a distant relative of Mother's, so it would still be family."

"You did what? WHY the hell would you do that without us talking, what makes you think I want to be God Damn mother to someone else's problem, there has to be something wrong or they wouldn't be giving them up."

Gina is angry, hurt, and now Rick is hurt and angry, trying to do something he thought would make his marriage stronger, seemed to have the opposite effect. In the following weeks, she became more distant, speaking to him at work when he was in the office, but a wall of silence at home till finally it erupted.

 **Castle's Loft**

 **5 Months Later**

Rick had been patient, or at least he thought he had been, but his marriage was in serious trouble, Gina was not happy and the life they led at home, they may as well have been strangers. The first private adoption had fallen through, but there was a beautiful little cousin, 3 or 4th removed, who had just been born, Alexis was her name and Rick was still going through with the adoption process, hoping Gina would come around.

She had reluctantly agreed to marriage counseling, but it seemed the only time she felt alive was at work, which she poured herself into 16 to 18 hours a day. The Counselor had advised them both, that unless they were working for a common goal, their marriage would be short-lived. Once again, Rick tried, making arrangements for a surprise birthday trip to Paris, and then snow skiing in the Alps, when he presented her Birthday present, she simply said,

"Cancel the trip, Rick, in fact we have an appointment with the counselor and my attorney next Tuesday, I am filing for divorce."

"What do you mean, Gina, We can work this out, just like we always do, come on now, you don't want this, I know I sure as hell don't"

"Don't you Rick? Really? Why would you bring an infant into our home without discussing it with me, finding out would I be OK with it, who's going to feed, clothe and diaper it Rick? I would gladly have stayed home and taken a hiatus from my career for our child, but you just decide that hey, I want a kid, I'm gonna get one.

Well, it doesn't work like that, every time I would hear that infant cry, it would remind me I am a failure as a woman and a wife. I can't take that Rick, we are drifting apart now, that would just put a barrier I can't get over, I'm sorry but you will be better off without me in your life."

"Gina, you don't mean that, and I never expected you to take care of Alexis, I was going to hire a full-time nurse and nanny, you know how many women get pregnant after adopting?" his face falls as he just realizes what he had said, "Gina you know I didn't mean anything by that, and you certainly haven't failed me as a wife, can't we rewind the clock to our first two years together? Hell, no one was better together than us, we can recapture that spark, I know we can."

"Rick, I know you would never hurt me deliberately, but the hurt is still there, I had my tubes tied because it was a decision **WE** made together after trying for 2 ½ years, and 5 miscarriages, this decision you made all on your own, I never had a say in it, and from the way you are talking never would. You already have her named, Nanny's hired, hell Rick, what do you need me for?"

"I need you here as my wife, I love you Gina, and I know you love me, this can't be the end of us, it can't be"

"I love you, Rick, I'll always love you, but I'm not what you need, definitely not what a newborn needs as a mother, so let's agree to go our separate ways. If we **truly were** meant to be together, we will find our way back, but now, I need to be free, to have my space and try to heal. You have smothered me, Rick, I know you meant well, but I can't go on like this, I'm sorry so very sorry I failed you, as a wife and as a mother to your child.

 **New York Municipal Court**

 **Family Court and Domestic Relations**

 **4 Months Later**

Rick hasn't seen Gina since she moved out of the Loft, she skipped the suggested counseling sessions, sending her attorney in her place to offer excuses, so today was the day. Today was the day he would stop being a husband, but also legally become a father. The marriage disillusion was almost mechanical, Rick and Gina had agreed on everything through their respective attorneys and all that was left was for the court to bless the agreement.

The judge, a man nearing 60 peered over his glasses first at Gina, then at Rick and asked,

"Does this marriage have even one ounce of hope for its continuation, answer Yay, if you feel this marriage has gone through all of the steps, and there is no hope for its continuation as a legal sanctity, answer Ney," he pauses as Rick waits for Gina who replies with a firm but sad voice Ney, to which Rick also replies Ney and within 10 minutes Rick was no longer a husband and Gina Cowell Castle was back to Gina Cowell.

Rick and his attorney make a hasty exit to the Family Court two floors up, where their case is just being called, and 20 minutes later, Rick Castle has legally adopted the baby Alexis who has been in his care for the last 3 months, with Social Services monitoring and reporting on the progress, the baby is now and forever to be known as Alexis Castle, daughter of Richard Castle.

It was both a day of tremendous joy and sadness, Rick was a Dad, but was also single. The only contact he would have with Gina now was through his work at Black Pawn and the alimony checks for the amount they had agreed upon.

Rick silently prayed his now ex-wife would find happiness, he knew now that he couldn't provide it to her no matter what he did. He lifted a glass to toast being a Dad, and shed a tear for his love that he lost along the way, only time would tell if he made a decision he would regret, or if the cost of fatherhood was more than he had been willing to pay,

On the other side of town, Gina is sitting on her sofa, turning the page on the album of pictures of her and Rick in the good old days, as they progress to her first surgery and then they suddenly stopped. Gina's tears filled the empty pages for the love she lost, and the little souls who were buried in the family plot, in all 2 boys and 2 girls had been lost, along with her heart. It seemed that Kyra wasn't the only one who needed a lesson in leaving, no matter how many times she told herself it was for the best, her heart ached for the man she would love for the rest of her life, now a life apart.

A/N I never thought Deep Fried Twinkie warranted as much attention as she received, I would rather have seen Gina get the time to explain WHY they split, not once but twice was so relevant. Just my opinion, yours may vary


End file.
